i haven't realised it's been so long since my last post. haven't realised that part of me forgot that this existed. haven't realised that i lost a part of myself in the last two years.
in striving to get ahead, i've taken on some necessary characteristics to harden myself. told myself not to be nice to people who don't deserve it. to people who are seemingly two-faced. to people who are just out to get something out of me. to people who are just looking for entertainment -- you become their spectacle.
but there's always this inner voice that decries that. isn't it an innate christian belief to be sincere to everyone? even those who are against you? it's really easier said than done.
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