i forget how books suck you into a world of your own. or rather, a world of its own.

you start thinking, empathizing and feeling.
of things both foreign and familiar.

how we all fight so hard for the things we want
and how we get them
only to realise it's temporary
and that our paths have already been planned by above

do we really get a choice at all?
or do we just think we do when we don't?

you decide. (do you?)

is it just me or it happens to most females?

the confidence to step on the accelerator only comes with my familiarity with the route - which means i need practice. put me in a place like yishun to navigate and i'll cry for baby to come pick me up instead (which he did, actually)

still remember spending two hours to get home from school (ntu) by car when it normally took me about an hour and a half by public transport. driving up the wrong expressway made me feel absolutely intelligent too. up till now, i can't say i won't make the same mistake - unless i'm driving the same route everyday. even the area around my own house is a challenge at times - i got charged twice for ERP in the span of less than an hour when it wasn't even my destination. [writer's note: pls note that all this happened a long time ago]

doing my homework helps - finding out where it is, which route i should take. and of course, the most important thing is having the emergency number to call when i'm lost on the roads (that would probably be my brother and my boyfriend. heh)

other than the route or routine headache (can be taken both ways), i still find the skill of driving useful. unless, of course, i get so flustered that i forget that a manual car has a clutch. in an emergency two weeks ago, i mistook the brake pedal of a MANUAL car to work the gears (which works for auto cars). i spent 15 minutes literally pushing the gear stick. had i lifted my dormant left foot meant for driving manual cars, i would have found that the gear-box was still fully functional. thank goodness i hadn't told my dad (ever the skeptic of female drivers, but gives me a go at times) that his car was spoilt - i actually crafted an sms to him!

but i digress. my point is, i should practise more. so that there'd be one less stereotyped-driver on the road.

excuse no more

it's kind of amazing how God works.
i knew i'd never be 'ready' to do his work
so i found excuse after excuse not to do so
the inertia in me was a huge barrier

why go through all that
when i'm so comfortable now with the way things are?

He just threw it to me
but he worked through me

one more reason to praise Him.