yay i got offered! after the gruelling two rounds of interview. i wonder what the future holds...

it is almost time.

and i will definitely miss some of them, as weird as it might seem. letting go is always the hardest. when will the right time be? I hope He will show me.

did He feel like this when he knew his 'hour' was coming? think it was much worse than this.

i hope everything works out, because i have to leave it in His hands now. my work is almost done here.

it's 1.23am and i'm up with many issues.

worried about family matters, worried about leaving sherry behind for 2 weeks. worried abt friends even.

if there's a rising wall between you and your 'good friend', are you still good friends? if your lives and values are so different, can you stand each other? yes i respect differences but feel they are taking us on separate paths. sometimes i really can't stand some of the things you do or say, especially when it launches into a personal attack on someone you hardly know. i keep my distance because of that, and that distance is growing.

you come to me mostly in times of trouble, or help in work. yet when the occasion arises for a fraction of your support, you deflect to the 'fun' side. where i can't be because it is my duty to stay on the other side, or i choose to because it feels like the right thing to do. i don't expect you to choose the path i take but it would have been nice if you had supported me wholeheartedly and not out of guilt and circumstances.

there's this sense of rivalry that i get from you although i have no wish to go into that. somehow you're disgruntled that you have a lack of power. from day one i told you that we will be working separately. seriously there was not much politics until you arrived. why are you pushing your way into a territory that's not even yours? you left me with no choice but to draw the line and define the rules once and for all. and for something you assumed you had a right to, but don't, you're unhappy for not getting your way? i think i can tell when you respond out of unhappiness - and you're dragging other people down with you...which i can't understand.

if you're a true friend, why do i have so many doubts?

please don't make me regret the times i stuck my neck out for you..because sometimes i'm starting to.

i think it's super hard to be subtle, especially when you're happy. happy for another. but you're told to contain your emotions, to play it cool. any cooler and i'd be fake!

the working field's a war out there. am i the soldier, the commander or the enemy? i still haven't figured that out yet.