it's been a long time. and i haven't had much time of my own to think, reflect.

was clearing my spam-filled hotmail when i saw amusing messages from long time ago. how my ex was really so possessive - but i somehow didn't see it that clearly. how a jc friend tried to reconnect and said that we missed the opportunity to be friends - but our emails died along the way. how a senior used to guide me in life and school - but we're both so caught up with our own lives now.

i guess as we get older, we lose ourselves and some people along the way. i hate when that happens and always wonder if i could have done more.

we get more cynical about the intentions of others. is he/she doing this for their own benefit? why are they suddenly being so nice to me? is this just temporary? are we interest-group friends? can i trust them with my personal thoughts and feelings?

sherry's (my dog) probably the most loyal one around right now -- shows how much trust i have in men, besides my bf -- and i'm not even sure how long she'll stick around. with her unfortunate life-threatening virus, nothing seems certain. as with life, actually.

a lil' nostalgic right now, recollecting the past.

all the could haves, should haves. i cherish what - and who - i have right now. it's just harder getting back what i've lost.

if you see this, it means you still remember me. (: